Comments on: The Head Coach’s Son & Favoritism

By: Steve Parker

Steve Parker — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 21:26:27 +0000

Hi Teddy

Thanks for your post. Maybe you should look in the mirror. It sounds like there are other issues with you and your children involved in your coaching and big sponsor choices. I do not know you and vice versa, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks again for your post and I wish you and yours all the best this Holiday season.

Coach Parker

By: Teddy

Teddy — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 20:53:02 +0000

You’re kidding yourself and no-one else. You’re looking for a justification for your favoritism, inside deals, and, frankly, corruption. Biological advantage? Pleeeze. Really? Are you serious? Hopefully your son will grow up to be fair-minded with a stronger sense of justice. I always thought most coaches were meat heads. This is more evidence. I have been a coach (and a big sponsor), and have put team captain decisions to a vote. As a coach, I will add that there should never be no more than one coach and an assistant coach (with “add-on” assistant coaches pulling strings and throwing their kid as center, goalie, or whatever favorite position he or she wants….). There should be a coach, and NOT half the teams’ kids’ fathers serving or acting as assistant coaches, or think that they are assistant coaches. Corruption begins young, and sports is a shining example that life is not fair; that connections are king. It’s too bad that it starts so early. (I imagine that your youngest son’s coach has a kid on your team?? Or wants something from you??… At any rate, again… connections, I see it all the time, as a sponsor and as a coach, so no-one is fooled…..) I have tried to be fair-minded, and know that people have given my sons advantages because I am rich/sponsor, or because I have been a coach…. but I don’t kid myself either. And I at least try to make it a fair process and don’t lie to myself either….

By: Evan

Evan — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 17:46:01 +0000

UPDATE: The season is finally over. The team finished 1-7, and it wasn’t a surprise based on the lack of talent they had at the skill positions, and lack of leadership by the head coach. Not ONE kid ran the ball this year unless his father was on the coaching staff (6 coaches). There were 23 kids on the team and only about 14 of them played regularly. The other 9 kids only saw time on kickoffs, a few plays or not play at all. 8 kids started both ways. In one game they put a small kid who barely played at RB (another coach’s son of course) who ran the towards the wrong endzone to avoid being hit. By mid-season most of the parents were irate midway about playing time issues and the nepotism at the skill positions .. so much that numerous emails were sent to the head coach about the problem. The coach called a parents meeting basically saying that, ‘he is going to play who HE thinks should play and playing time is not guaranteed ‘. As for my son he was NEVER giver an opportunity to run the ball in practice or a game (again he was the fastest player on the team). Every parent and some coaches knew my son was fastest kid, and they could not beleive that he wasn’t getting reps at RB. My son played TE on offense, however he was just a glorified lineman as they NEVER threw the ball. On defense he was the starting outside LB and usually lead the team in tackles and hits in the backfield in each game. Two of the coaches told me personally that they suggested to the head coach that they make my son a RB, and they were both shot down by the head coach. Going through this season it was pretty evident that the head coach was only concerned with micro-managing his son who started at QB, middle linebacker, kicker and kick returner . The offensive play calling consisted of QB keepers about 70% of the time. His son only scored about 3 TD’s the whole season eventhough he ran the ball the majority of the time. No matter what the score the head coach’s son NEVER came out of a game. His son is a decent player, however he should be when he is getting all the reps in practice and the games. My son acutally played about 95% of the snaps this year. Honestly, I thought he played a little too much. At one point I even asked that he be pulled off of starting offense to give other kids an opportunity to play. But I was told he was one of the best blockers they had. It was a sad display of teaching the fundamentals of the game, by the head coach, all season long and it was apparent to all who watched. Next year I will be looking for another league for my son to play in.

By: Steve Parker

Steve Parker — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:02:04 +0000

It sounds like your son is a stud youth football player. I am sure any coach would be extremely happy to have you and your son on their team. It sounds like you are upset that your son did not get the season MVP award. My two son’s have never won the season MVP award and there are better players on my teams that deserve the award more then my two Daddy Coach’s sons.

You were in a bad situation, please do not hate every youth football coach. We are unpaid volunteers just doing our best with what we have, which is usually not much. Coaching is so much easier when you have supportive parents, especially when your son is getting a ton of playing time and put in opportunities for success.

I am sure it was a disappointment not to win the MVP, but surely your son is happy to have had an outstanding season. I’m not sure about all the details of your situation, but the MVP is not just about talent on the field alone but leadership and respect from the other players. Plus, if certain parents are boo birds that hurts their children’s chances of winning awards too. Were u an MVP in the stands?

Thanks for your post.
Coach Parker

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:23:13 +0000

My son was never exposed to football until I signed him up for football at the age of 6. His Dad played college football and was drafted to the Pros; an injury during camp prevented him from playing. My son never watched football on T.V. and his Dad never forced it on him. He didn’t want to burn him out at an early age and cause him to dislike football. The Coaches picked up on my sons natural “raw” talent immediately. I used him as an example to show the other kids how to correctly do the warm-up exercises. The other parents seeing this insisted that he had played football before and was older than he was. This was not the case, he had never played, never watched it and in fact, he was on of the youngest on the team but very tall for his age. He was very competitive and the fastest player on the team. He played on both sides offense and defense. He scored an average of 3 or 4 touchdowns a game, and made 8 or 9 tackles. Four of the six Coaches wanted to make him MVP but the head coach was against it. The kids would all sit around talking about my son being the best player on the team. My child was and still is a very humble child, even after hearing his name repeatedly announced over the intercom for making touchdowns and tackles, he never was boastful. I’m saying this to say that all the Coaches that said their kids are better kids because they live it and breathe it at home. How can you explain my childs performance since he didn’t live in that type of environment? I believe there are a lot of other talented kids out there that are not given the chance to show what they can do because of all the Daddy coaches! It might hold true for some kids but not for all because we had six coaches with six kids and four wanted to make my child the MVP. The head coach didn’t agree because he didn’t want to disappoint his child that didn’t have a fraction of the talent that my son had. Half of the touchdowns he made were with my childs assistance. My child could run the ball from one field to the other and get tackled right before the touchdown, then the head coach would give the ball to his son to make the touchdown. It didn’t bother me because I said that a lot of these coaches kids are going to be in for a rude awakening when they get in the real world without their Daddies coaching and they realize they are not as good as they thought they were. My son took a year off from football because his Dad insisted that he take a year off. Well he’s back this year and even with a year off, while the other kids have continued to play, they still can’t compare. I don’t care how much playing time their Daddies give them, when you continue to hear your childs name called over the intercom and the parents on the sidelines call out his name, and the opponents parents come up and compliment your childs abilities after the game….that lets you know who the true talent is! Keep your heads up parents! This Daddy coaching won’t last always. Keep your child encouraged and just because they live in the same house as the Coach doesn’t make them better players. I’m a witness!!

By: Brian

Brian — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:12:14 +0000

I keep reading about how the coaches kids play the key positions and are the starters because they are the better player. Well I have a 5th grader and a 7th grader playing youth football and favoritism is a big problem mostly on the 5th grade team. I believe that at the 5th grade level it is about learning the game and how to play it but how can the kids learn when they are not being coached what to do. My sons 5th grade team has 5 coaches and they have a total of 7 kids on the team. So you tell me if this is favoritism or not when the coaches kids play on average over 30 to 40 plays per game and most other kids play on average 10 plays per game. I kept track of 6 kids of course my son was one of them and when those 6 kids did not play one down in the first half of the game and the coaches kids played 27, 23, 22, 27, 25, 27 plays. Also one of the coaches kids is a 4th grader who will be playing on the 5th grade team again next year played more then most of the 5th graders. The coaches keep telling the kids they need to work hard in practice and pay attention but how can you expect 10 year old kids to work hard in practice if they never see playing time.

By: Evan

Evan — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 18:25:07 +0000

My 7 year-old son is in his 1st year in playing pee wee football (6/7/8 year olds). I have attended and watched every practice closely and during the 1st week of practice (conditioning week) he was usually finished 1st or 2nd in the 20 and 40 yard dashes, thus he is one of the fastest kids, if not the fastest kid on the team. Once they issued equipment (2nd week) his speed held true. Based on this alone I was certain that he would take repetitions with the RB/QB group, however to my surprise I was stunned when they placed him with the defensive unit. Come to find out 5 of the 6 kids in the RB/QB group are sons’ of the coaches (6 coaches on the team). The next day the head coach sent out an email to all parent assuring us that there are no positions set as of yet and everyone will be alloted the same opportunites at all position. We are in week 3 and yet the same kids are in the same groups. My son has asked me why has he not been allowed to run the ball at practice as of yet, and I honestly don’t know what to tell him. I noticed that in the last few practices he is starting to lose some interest, and when the coach gives him reps on offense they line him up at split end (they never throw the ball). None of the kids in the skill position group are as fast as my son, and the only thing they do have on him is 1-year of experience. I can ONLY attribute this to NEPOTISM. I’m my son’s baseball coach myself, and I was usually the hardest on my son. I always tried to move him around in the batting order just to avoid this issue. I really do not want to confront the coaches, however 3-weeks in none of the skill position players blow me away and they have yet to give other kids opportunities. Head scratcher!!!!!!

By: Steve Parker

Steve Parker — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 04:36:37 +0000

It is not uncommon for the coaches to assign a first group of QBs and RBs after the first one or two practices, especially if they already know many of the players prior to the first practice. When you assign players to these positions, they are looking for the fastest kids with the most coordination and football skills. It is really easy to find who these players in the first one or two practices by timing 20 yard and 40 yard sprints. Of course you adjust these skill players as practices progresses and you may see players that you missed earlier.

Also, you can assign lineman pretty quickly based on weight and league weight rules. In some leagues, players over a certain weight cannot carry the ball or play behind the Line of Scrimmage. Sometimes, a player might make a great RB but because of his size and ability to block and pull, you want him at guard, so a smaller RB with almost the same RB skills will run the ball behind better blocking.

Plus, different coaches want and see different things from players. What I might think is my perfect QB another coach may think he is a TE. This could be because of different offensive formations and schemes. It is very subjective about picking and assigning players plus its hard evaluating youth football players. And coaches want to pick the skill positions early so the players can start learning and repping plays. You must rep rep rep.

If the 7 that the coaches picked are the fastest kids on the team, I would not worry so much unless those 7 fumble all the time or cant remember the plays.

Thanks again
Coach Parker

By: donottell

donottell — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:49:14 +0000

We are on ur second practice and they have already assigned 7 out of about thirty kids to the qb rb positions. How do they know who can do what after only one practice game? Three out of the seven are sons of the coaches. Should I be concerned….does it sound like favortism?

By: Steve Parker

Steve Parker — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 22:19:21 +0000

Thanks for your comment. Every situation is different and coaches see different things in different players. Plus each year players mature and change. I’ve seen minimum play players one year progress to starting positions this next season and starters become min play players.

Since I wrote this this article several years ago, I do see more daddy coaches and favoritism, especially since I look for it now based on the popularity of this article. All coaches should play their best players. When my son’s are on my teams I do not coach their positions. I also enjoy coaching teams when I do not have a son on the team. It is so much easier dealing with parents when your son is not on the team.

I am an advocate of leagues not allowing coach’s children on their teams. But many leagues would not have enough coaches to coach. So, many of us will see coaches children play more because that’s the price of volunteer coaches.. Or you could pay $20k a year for a professional coach to coach your child’s team. This is what a friend of mine is paying for an soccer coach salary for a select team.

Thanks again
Coach Parker