Ok, so this may not be the most popular article for parents, but someone needs to put the theory out there, and yes I say theory, about the Head Coach’s son and children. I am a Head Coach, and both my son’s play Quarterback for their youth football teams. I was an offensive guard at their ages, so I am slightly jealous. 
But anyway, I am Head Coach for my oldest son’s team (5th grade) and am a parent spectator for my youngest (2nd grade) son’s team. My theory is that the children of head coaches have a biological and environmental advantage over the other players on the team. So let me explain…
For the last two years, as a Head Coach, I have struggled with my oldest son playing starting quarterback on my tackle football team. When Berndt, “Bear”, was younger, on his flag teams, he was the back-up quarterback and starting center for our spread offense. Bear played Center in flag, because we had a QB prodigy on our flag team. Two years ago, when I was given the opportunity to coach Bear’s tackle team, I assigned the position responsibilities to my Offensive Coordinator. Our first year, we went through try outs and the Offensive Coordinator chose my son as the starting QB. I was not happy with this decision because of the parent political issues this was going to cause.
And for two years, Bear playing QB always comes up as favoritism. But is it really? My Offensive Coordinator assigns the backfield positions, not me. I work with the offensive line. In our first year, I actually argued against my oldest son playing quarterback, because I thought he wasn’t assertive & competitive enough as a leader. I am now a believer that Bear is a “real” QB, but only until the last few games of least season. It’s taken me four years to believe; 2 flag & 2 tackle. 
Now, my youngest son, Zane, was the starting QB on his flag team, even after missing two weeks with a broken collarbone. Zane is much more like me as a leader and a natural athlete. He’s fun to watch. Is it surprising to me that another coaching staff has chosen my son as a quarterback? Yes, but that’s only because I never played QB. How can this be? Two son’s starting skill players?
Since I have been struggling with my own internal favoritism issues, I postulated this theory. Head Coach’s sons have an advantage over other pee wee football players, because their biological father and dad is the Head Coach. It’s a biological and environmental advantage.
The children of Head Coaches are exposed to the sport at a very early age. My boys had footballs in their cribs, and we watch NFL football games together as a familiy. We live and breathe football in the Parker home. I know a baseball head coach that is the same way about baseball. I have been practicing football with my boys since they were 3. They watch me draw up plays, read football books, watch football instructional DVDs and we practice football skills at least once or twice a week during the off-season. So is it favoritism that Head Coaches’ children are starters in key positions on youth sports team. I would say no. OK, so there are a few that show favoritism, but coaches’ children are predisposed, biologically and environmentally, to have an advantage over the other players.
Let me know what you think about my theory. Thanks and have a good season.
23 Comments
August 6, 2008 at 12:54 pm
thanks for the message im in the same boat ive ben coaching for 3 years and my son has been the starting qb for all of them i just started head coaching this year ive never thought of it likie that but ill forward this to any parent who has a problem with my son as qb thanks again
February 7, 2010 at 12:51 am
this is a real problem my sons hockey coaches are brutal.this is house league and play there kids extra time . and then had the nerve to sit all the kids down and tell them that there own 2 kids were picked as captains due to skill level and communication there 9 and 10.this is clearly not the case and is favourtism….
August 23, 2008 at 7:33 pm
The situation you describe cannot be described as favoritism because there was an open competition for the position judged by someone other than you.
My son is on a football team. Last year (under another coach) he competed and won the position of running back where he ran that position on every down of every game last year. This year (under a new coach that happens to be the director of the youth football league) the new head coach appoints his son fullback and another new coach’s son as the halfback – all without competition and decided prior to even the first practice. This not only affected my son, but three other players who rotated the fullback position last year.
No, your situation is not a case of favoritism, but favoritism does exist in youth sports. It will be a relief to enter high school sports where the coaches do not have a vested interest in any player but only placing the right players in the right position!
August 20, 2009 at 6:54 pm
You’re kidding yourself if you think favoritism isn’t just as strong in school sports.
Best way I’ve found to combat is to have my kid participate in X-Country and Track.. stop watches do NOT play favorites. Fastest kid wins.
August 26, 2008 at 10:37 am
I think you’re right actually. My son is in his first year of tackle football in 4th grade this year, and I’m the assistant coach/offensive coordinator. While we have another player practicing at QB who shows potential, there is no question that my son has much more knowledge and skill at the position, having mastered the fundamentals of footwork, taking the snap, etc….Most kids can barely even accomplish a basic 5 step drop. Thankfully I didn’t have to make the decision myself to put him as the starting QB though, it was evident to all the other coaches as well.
September 21, 2008 at 12:23 am
Coach, this clearly sounds like your sons are the most skilled at the position and not favortism. I agree with jerry francis when he stated that they were awarded the position in an open competition judged by someone else. I wish all coaches would do that! I have 2 sons in tackle football and I have coached for 6 years. I have seen way too many teams not playing to their potential because the head coach places their child at QB or HB that do not have the skills or knowledge to play the position. I would argue however, that it is not any biological or environment disposition that they are given skill positions. More often than not, a head coaches child is given more opportunities to learn the positions. This it what gives them the advantage. Even if it is not the head coach, an assistant coach will often show favortism to another coaches child especially the head coach. Let’s face it fellas we spend a lot of time with one another. When given reps at a skill position they develop a knowledge base to build on that other kids do not get. Even if they do not do well, a coach will show more attention an patience to another coach’s child. If your children really spend that much time studying the game then they deserve to play QB.
October 14, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Ha Get this one. I’m in my second year of coaching and now I am the head coach of my own team. Not only is my son the starting quaterback my other son is the starting fullback and my nephew is the starting rb. When I brought this up to my other sis when she asked about our team she asked, “Is the parents mad about this.” I stated no and then realized what she said. Some coaches must really do put their kids at qb or at roles to be the star wether there kid has the ability or not. hint: Simpsons episode when Homer makes Bart the starting QB and tryies to make him a star when he actually sucks. BUt Coaches that know what they’re doing and how to go about it does whats best for the team and sometimes it’s having their kid in that spot. We had open practice and drills to see who does what and who goes where. Me being the Head Coach and having my two sons on the team (this is their 2nd year playing pee wee tackle football) they already had a heads up on stuff and I already knew where they were going…… To the bench!!!! My oldest son which is the QB was starting Right guard teh year before and 3rd string DT. He started to fall off a little so the Head coach benched him about halfway thru last season. My other son only seen special teams play.( Not all special teams, just kickoff) I was the defense coach. I pretty much could’ve forced my kid into starting spots escpecially me being the defense coach but I knew their abilities. Which brings me back to now when I said they would probablly be coming off the bench. My oldest son which is our QB I didn’t ever think that was goin to happen and if someone told me that when I was getting my team together I would’ve laughed at them. But when practices came both of my sons knew their holes plays and alot more about football then the rest. My nephew practiced last year and then quit b4 season started so he knew some football. I was sure he was going to be our RB but when my sons picked things up I had no choice. I was alwasy skeptical of my oldest at QB you could’nt pay me to start him or have him there, but he has done things that I could’nt believe or ever think he could. He makes his own plays and adds on to things that we do and I am amazed!! My other son I put at FB was to protect our RB and Qb since he picked up his holes and things. Its amazing My oldest son being the head coaches son wasn’t suppose to be this major of a factor for the team but ended up to be a savior and keeping us awya from being a disaster. What’s carzy now is their little sis might be playing next year!!!
December 10, 2008 at 9:22 am
Hi there.
Favoritism definitely is a major sore spot in my kids’ school. Our teams, like basketball and volleyball, have an”A” teams and a “B”.
The girls who are friends with the principal’s daughter routinely get picked for the “A” team although a handful of them couldn’t make a basket or do a bump if their lives depended on it. My daughter has played both volleyball and basketball (superb shooter) on outside teams and has consistently been a star in both sports but routinely gets bumped to the “B” team.
The school’s gym teacher claims these spots are open competition, but year-over-year it’s the same kids for the same teams.
What truly upsets me is how blatant these elections are, but only a few parents say anything.
March 11, 2009 at 2:16 am
Does the term quid pro quo mean anything to you?
You would not be writing about this if you really knew down deep it was not an issue.
July 30, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Favoritism can be rampant in any sport. My son lays baseball and has for 8 years now. This year he worked his way to starting pitcher for his team that went 11-6. Another coach sought him out to play on the “All Star” team. Then benched my son for 19 of 21 innings in the state tournament. Made comments that my son was really only average. Of course the coaches son played 21 of 21 innings.
Favoritism hand in hand with emotional abuse!
August 21, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Slightly different situation, but thought I’d share:
I was allstate in HS, and played in college, but now have two beautiful girls that are cheerleaders. Got involved in coaching cause “I was there anyway and the coaches asked for assistants”, and now have the fever. I love it. Love teaching the game that I loved playing to kids who are respectful and willing to learn every day (almost). And the organization I’m involved with is outstanding from A, B and C levels, even the cheerleaders. Parents have their usual complaints, but most are fairly ordinary requests. And no prejudice cause no sons.
Guys, coach like you love football. And if your son is the best use him. If not, accept it and do what’s best for the kids/team that are there. And most of all, enjoy it; there’s nothing like it. Once it’s in your blood, it’ll always be. And the best thing you can do is pass the passion on to the next generation(s).
Tony
August 27, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Give me a break! Why is the coaches son always uniquely qualified to be QB, never uniquely qualified to be defensive end or tackle. You’re kidding yourself. The best high school QB I ever saw had to wait until 2 years until the coaches son graduated before he could get off the bench and play. I wouldn’t be so obvious if even 1% of coaches sons weren’t the quarterback!!!
September 1, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Here’s a question for you…what if the coach’s son is not qualified to be the QB, but gets to play anyway, with no other children on the team getting a chance to practice? Our coach’s son gives the bare minimum in practices and games when he’s not the “star,” and threw a fit when he was told he had to play anything other than quarterback. And yet he continues to start in the position. The head coach already been approached by his assistant coaches but blows them off and continues to play his own child, who not only is the biggest whiner, but an average player at best. This is clearly not for the good of the team or the other boys, who need and want to learn how to play other positions. Any comments or suggestions as to how to deal with this situation?
September 2, 2009 at 1:09 pm
This is a tough situation. Since the assistant coaches are aware of the situatution and are supportive of removing the coach’s son, I would work with them and the team mom / manager and appraoch the league’s age group coordinator or commissioner about the situation. I would let the league sort this out. A coach last season in our league did this same thing and he is no longer a head coach.
If the league does not sort this out, find a new team or league.
September 20, 2009 at 8:01 am
Nepostim is alive and well in youth football. My 11 year old recently joined an established team. The whole “everyone will earn their position”, give me 100% to keeep your position” was a continual montra.
After tryouts my son was praised and said to be one of the 2 fastest on the team. And he is one of the hardest hitters. Well what do you know he ends up at the receiver position where the quarterback, “coaches son might heave a lamb duck prayer twice a game and hope that its within 10 yards of my son.
The 2 other coaches sons have taken running back positions as well. My son continues to see less playing time. I’ve been told they are resting him for the big plays. Ha. Last year we played in a league where my son never left the field.
Bottom line I was sold a bill of goods by the coaching staff who needed my money for entry fees. The team consists of 3 players and 17 decoys and blocking dummies. Just my thought about nepotism.
October 5, 2009 at 9:12 am
Nepotism is alive and well everywhere! It all depends on the coach. Some coaches truly will put the best player in the right position. Is there an evironmental advantage for coaches sons, heck yeah there is. If they want it. Show me a super physical football player under the age of 11 and I will show you an average smart football player that will beat that kid 8 out of 10 times. This is where coaches kids have the advantage learning the game of football. Most of us only get 2-3 practices days a week with all other kids but I have my son everyday, is this to his advantage, yep. But I will bench my son in a heart beat if he isn’t the best at that position.
October 5, 2009 at 9:32 am
Hey Coach, Thanks for you post. I agree, that Nepotism is alive and well and that is sad, but good coaches will bench their sons or others favorites if they can’t play a position or there is a more talented player. Thanks again, Coach Parker and Go Kanes!
October 13, 2009 at 8:10 pm
It is amazingly unfortunate that skilled, polished and enthusiastic young athletes are being ignored since the coaches are more in tune with their own childrens beliefs, ie. your own beliefs. We have taken part in Pop Warner for 2 years and the disgust has grown deeper daily. Private practices, arranged positions, stacking teams and never realizing the oversight of players and humiliation that is offered.
I totally agree, good coaches bench their sons if needed. In our arena, their is a Minimum Play Rule…needless to say…”if your dad is a coach, you have a position on both sides of the ball”. The rest of our broken hearts are to make the quota for the roster.
So if you are that coach that believes your son is the greatest…so do the rest of the parents. Keep patting yourself on the back for your contributions to the team, but know when to prioritize the abilities and never leave a child behind.
October 29, 2009 at 2:34 pm
You are correct. I am a former high school and college qb, and have put my 7 year old at the helm. Parents dont mind because he clearly gets it and takes it to the house when we need it. However, since we are still in flag, and our league calls for it, I give all the boys a shot at qb. The difference in play is obvious. My son loves the game and will watch hours of football with me on the weekends of his own choice. I think kids that enjoy watching sports have an advantage because their sports IQ becomes engaged. The “son of a coach” theory is also correct. They just get it and are usually driven by competition and a hunger to win. I don’t see a problem with it unless you are one of the fathers whose son is clearly not the best choice to start, and some other kid, and the team suffers for it.
November 5, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I don’t understand your premise. It is you who is assigning a greater value to the quarterback position than anyone else. What id your son merely hands off to a stud rb the entire year? Is his position any more valuable than that of the guard or tackle? You sure seem to think so. What if the head coach is a former defensive tackle..he might play his son there, while not qualified, and no one would ever know or care.
November 14, 2009 at 12:59 pm
To be very honest, the QB position is very important in football. Its not just me that thinks so. You are wrong in your premise that no would care if someone played tackle though not qualified. When the QB and RBs are tackled in the backfield, people will notice.
I am a former tackle and my son played tackle this year for the team, because he was the biggest player on his new football team in Keller. I wanted him to play another position besides QB this year. He loved it.
thanks for your post,
Coach Parker
Keller, Texas
March 8, 2010 at 9:42 am
I know that I am getting into this conversation late, but I will have to agree with Gritz. My youngest is 9 now and has been a qb since age 6 (all tackle football). I was not the one who put him at that position. After his 5 y/o season, the then head coach asked me to work with him over the summer and that he wanted to put him at qb the following season. Being a decent (1st team all conference) qb myself in h.s., I bucked his thoughts. I didn’t see in my son what he saw. For me it wasn’t his natural ability, but I wasn’t sure he was going to live up to the pressure of the position. I reluctantly worked with him, and he just took to it naturally. In all honesty, he’s been lights out ever since. The kid amazes even me most of the time.
Well I’m offered a head coaching spot for his age group this past season at a different organization. Needless to say that some of the parents of the kids already there weren’t happy with the way things shook out. I had open try-outs at EVERY skill position. The kid that used to play qb ended up 3rd string, but the coaches and I tried to accomadate him and his parents by starting him at left WR/TE. He did want to play it and neither did his parents want him there. It became a big thing on our team. I tried to ignore it at first, but 3 games into the season it had to be resolved in a parent meeting. Once I explained to all of the parents that they didn’t see my son run the ball not one time so far that season, things finally calmed down. I did not play my boy at qb to shine as a star. He was there because he knew my offense and how I wanted it ran. He was overly effecient and at 8 years old could put the ball 32 yards down the field almost on a dime 7 out of 10 times. We ended up playing a total of 17 games this past season and my son only ran the ball 4 times. He wasn’t happy about that, but once I explained to him what we were trying to accomplish, he was fine. He is really close to becoming a complete qb given his age, but he’ll have plenty of opportunity to run the ball as he gets older. I don’t have a problem limiting his carries now to get other kids going and make the team more successful as a whole. So yes, I’m a head coach who’s son plays quarterback, but he is far from the focal point of his current team and won’t be as long as I’m coaching him.
July 12, 2010 at 4:33 pm
On my son’s team the Coach’s son played QB. To many of us on the sidelines during practice we saw other players that would make better QB’s. I just felt bad for the kids who did not get the opportunity to try the QB position. I believe that to much is being put into winning and not teaching the game. At this age the kids should get to play a variety of positions to learn the fundementals of the game. I beleive that will prepare them for the future when they will truly have to compete to make the team in Jr and High School.