I planned to write about defense today, but I received an email last night which begs me to address minimum play players, favoritism and parents in today’s blog post. My coaches and I rank our players each week and use these rankings to determine who will start and what positions they will play. I develop a depth chart each week from these rankings. I do not believe in favoritism. Our players win a starting position based on intelligence, physical abilities, football skill and football knowledge. Just because a player is a top starting player and plays a majority of downs, does not equate to favoritism, it equates to smart coaching. Coaches should field their best talent.
In today’s youth sports, many coaches must weigh fielding the best talent and playing the minimum play players. How do you weigh the needs of the team above the needs of one to three minimum play players (MPP) and their vocal parents? This question frustrates me each week. I want all my players playing every play of the game. I want all players getting a good rest on the sidelines. I want everyone to score a touch down. But the reality is, this is not Drake and Josh afternoon TV. Some players are not ready to play more than the mandatory minimum plays. I want to win American Idol but I can’t hold a note. Should the network force American Idol to allow me to sing at least once in front of National TV audience? I doubt it.
But many MPP parent’s feel the coaches are playing favorites by not playing thier children more. I am sure there maybe a minority of coaches playing favorites, but if your child can contribute to the team then your child will play more. I’ll guarantee it.
One last point that I find surprising. Why doesn’t anyone talk about the starter who must sit out while someone takes his place? How do they feel? Are they upset that we substituted a player in the game that does not do the work required to play the position? Who is speaking up for the starting player and their feelings?
If I had one wish as a coach, I would wish that all the players on my team were starters. Now that would solve my problem. Although, I have 24 players on my team. Hmmm, I needed to be more specific. It’s always something!
22 Comments
June 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm
My son plays both youth football and baseball. He does well and plays more or less based primarily on what age level he is in any given year.
The problem I have is dealing with a greater level of favoritism than just games. He is now the youngest player on his Little League All-star team. He had a great year during regular season and his team was one of the top teams in the entire district. However, now the Allstar coaches are coaches from other teams and have seemed to pigeon hole kids that weren’t on their regular season teams.
So instead of letting everyone have a chance to practice in a few different positions they put the kids from their teams in the primary positions and stick the rest of the kids in outfield. The whole practice.
I understand playing the best kids the most during the game but I don’t understand not even letting them practice a little at other positions that they were successful in during the regular season. But more importantly, I am torn on how to advise my child that life isn’t always fair and just because you may be a little better you don’t always get treated that way.
Any sage advice?
June 26, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I don’t know about sage, but I am familiar with this issue. My son is an ok baseball player and did not play as much as I would have liked on his baseball team. But like you said, life is unfair and not everyone gets to be pitcher or QB.
I told my son that he must work harder than the other players and prove himself on the playing field. Anytime he gets an opporutnity, he must excel and show the coaches that they are making a mistake by not playing him more.
If your coaches are not mixing it up during practice, and favoring their players, I would politely approach them on the issue. They are probably doing this because they are comfortable with these players and has nothing to do with the ability of the other players. They are hurting the team and themselves by not playing the other kids. This will become an issue in a tournament when someone gets hurt or on vacation. No one on the team will be ready to play the top positions.
Bottom line. Talk to the coaches and ask them their strategy about play time and positions. Ask for an honest answer. You may or may not like what you hear. Since this is an all star team, let your son know he had an excellent regular season and now he must be ready to play any position even if he’s not getting practice time. Practice with him at home or after practice, and when the team needs him in a tournament, he’s ready to go and shines like an all star that he is.
July 27, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Ok, I understand that when kids mess around durring practice they shouldn’t be starting; but what happens when you have a child that can push back, and hold back consistantly, the starting line and yet he is considered 3rd string because he isn’t in the front half of the running pack. Now understand this child is 123 lbs w/o uniform. And the starting line- coaches kids who didn’t even show up 3 out of 5 practices?
July 30, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Playing time is a tough subject in youth sports. Parents must remember that it’s not only the physical part of the game that determines play time but also knowledge of the sport and position disciplin.
I have coached great athletes that did not start because they did not listen or did not have the capacity to learn the playbook. I won the starting MLB position in HS because the starting MLB would not play his responsibilities and kept running into the line of scrimmage. My knowledge of the position and disciplin won over his athletic talents. Of course, I also had talent. I was the starting DE before moving to the MLB.
I know parents think their son or duaghter is the greatest player on the field. I think the same thing. But we look at our children through eyes of a parent, and its not always that rosey to the Coach.
August 16, 2008 at 4:04 pm
My son Tyler is in his 5th year of football first year in tackle. The coaching staff has only three new players on this team and after the first practice (conditioning) identified all of his starters. I find this appalling and unacceptable as there was no attempt to identify skill or ability. My son works harder than any player and the coach identified this to us. Secondly, he continually beats several players in blocking drill and offense vs defense in practice. Yet during practice he was one of three who stood around for an hour while “starters” practiced. The following day they had a 2 hour scrimmage Tyler played in a total of 18 plays in 2hours while the starters played more than 45 on offense and 45 on defense. Tyler would come in make beat the TE or Tackle on 3 consecutive plays and then was sent to the bench. After the game he says why dont I play more and why did I have to come out after 3 plays. This is heartbreaking for a child who gives everything for a sport he loves and has to pay for a coaches selfish desires. Ive always coached sports and have never seen anything like this. All they talk about is run this from last year, remember this play from last year and Tyler gets no chance to show his ability. What should we do??? I want to talk to the coach again but I know he will not care. Tylersfunmama@yahoo.com
August 22, 2008 at 11:12 am
I came across this article while looking for articles about HS favoritism.
I don’t know a whole lot about football but I struggle with my son who is a Senior this year.
He has played football at the same school since the fifth grade. Now that he has just completed his two-a-days he is on the verge of quiting before even the first game.
I’m not sure what advice if any I can give him.
Per the author of this article if your a MPP… you might as well pack your bags, right ?
Is it really fair to pull the Farmer’s, Dentist’s, Doctor’s starting kid out of the game for a MPP ?
I think the depth chart you reference is a good cover for HS favoritism, right?
A few questions for you… I’d really be intersted to hear your responses.
1. What advice do you have for MPP’s who are sophmores and seniors that figure why even play??
2. Do you consider the families of the MPP’s or is it more important to focus on the starter’s and their families?
3. Regardless of the depth chart or the “MPP” name given do you think all students who put forth an effort should be allowed to play without favoritism and have equal play time?
October 22, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Coach-
thanks for having the courage to at least tackle this tough subject. I hope open minded enough to consider that we all make mistakes- even coaches. I too found this by searching high school athletics and favoritism. Sorry to add my .02c.
Many parents of MPP kids don’t think their kids are the best ones on the field. And, if you really watch, you will see that some MPP kids put in more effort than some of the “great talents” with little work ethic. Many MPP kids (and parents ) believe (at least intitally) , the head coaches warnings about dedication, practice and the rules. But parents and kids feel actions speak louder.
So how would you tell a parent to repond when their child see’s starters miss 3 out of 5 practices and still play almost the whole game despite the coaches warnings that missed practices means minimum play time- period? Apparently that’s only true if a “W” is in the bag. How would you respond to those dedicated MPP kids when they ask why they weren’t given some extra plays when the team was leading 21-0 in the 4th quarter? How do explain to kid thats just trying to get better why the kids that need the least help, usually get the most “coaching”?
I know yours is a tough position- but once in a while, try to see it from a different vantage. Kids that aren’t stars, (and their parents) usually only want their kids to 1) learn and get better, 2) have an equal opportunity to participate and contribute and 3) to feel good about themselves and the team.
Most MPP kids I know would NOT want to go into a game at a critical moment if another player would be a better choice. That’s a selflessness that all coaches can learn from. There’s more than one kind of “winning” coach… and it’s not all measured in the stats. I’m sure delaing wiht us parents can be difficult but don’t think it’s all roses on this side either. At least you can effect your situation- often time we the parents can’t and our kids are ostersized for our trying.
October 22, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Trust me dealing with MPP and star player parents is not all rosey and we coaches can’t always effect the situation. I am also a parent and a coach so I see the issues from both sides. My youngest son is a MPP basketball player and I am as frsutrated as everyone else. But I also know what is best for the team. Yes TEAM.
Somehow in this politicaly correct world we have forgotten about the team and everything is about the individual.
January 27, 2009 at 4:54 pm
My daughter plays soccer and basketball. She was once known as one of the better athletes in our community. As she got older the coaches/parents became very competetive. I came across many parent coaches that were coaching just to ensure their child the best spot and most playing time. My daughter is still a good athlete, she plays for the school but the last few years have taken a toll and she no longer has the confidence that she once had. She palyed one of the least winning teams in basketball for a while in elemetry school. Her coach wasn’t worrid about winning, he wanted to teach the girls. My daughter subbed her fifth grade summer for the top team and was asked to join that team. I let her decide and she wated to play with better competion. A year later she no longer had the confidence she had previously. I watched as she sat the bench more & more. I realized to late that this was about making sure certain girls got the junior high spot, it became so obviuos but it was to late. My daughter didn’t make the the seveth grade a team and people & other players were astounded. All the parent elementary coaches daughters did as well as their daughters teammate friends. People that know my daughter couldn’t believe the outcome. It was all politics and I wasn’t involed. At the end of the year I talked with the school counslor and told her what I believed happen. My daughter was then selected for the only 8th grade team this year. She has her ups and down just like all the other players but is penalized for her downs when others aren’t. We have a person unrelated to any of the players that keeps statistics and has shown me how well she does when she does get playing time which sometimes is 2 minutes out of the game. It’s a shame I as well as others see the favorite players make the same mistakes but rarely get taken out of the game. My point is that we are dealing with favortism as well as parents being very savvy on ensuring their child the spot. I advice that parents encurage their children to play for the coach that show the desire to coach and not because they want to control their childs destiny. These people are sneaky; remember the saying keep your enemies closer then your friends. I believe my daughter was viewed as threat and she was coaxed into play for a coach that wanted to make sure that wasn’t going to effect her daughter. My daughter no longer wants to do something she is really good at and she no longer has the opprtunity beacuase I wasn’t aware of how these politics are played. She had dreams of playing in college & I don’t see that happening now. I don’t think she will tryout next year but I will encourage her to play rec. Hopefully if she gains her confidence back there is away to go to college playing what she once loved without having to play for the school league. If anyone knows if that is a possibility please comment.
Thanks,
January 28, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Hopefully once you get into Junior High and High School sports, the coaches are not also parents of the players they are coaching. These indepenent coaches are able to recognize talent and your son or daughter should be given the opportunity to play.
At 45, I have learned life is not fair at 13 or 31 or 44. If your son or daughter truely loves the game, they should keep playing even if they do not start. The competition and practice is invaluable. Especially if they are not playing rec leagues.
This year my youngest son ( 7) was assigned to a different tackle football team than we planned due to school boundaries and player’s coaching requests. He did not start and was an MPP player on this team because of the talent on the team. As a parent I was very unhappy with this situation and I spoke with the coach at the end of the season. He told me that my son was a mid tier player compared to the other players on the team.
Of course I did not want to hear that and I knew in the back of my head that was true, but I did not want to hear my son was not good enough to start on this team, especially since the coach’s son is starting over my son at QB. This team won thier Super Bowl.
So, I told my son we need to practice more and he needs to focus more, so when he is called to play any position he will play like a super star.
February 8, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I’m glad I found this website, because I am on the other side of the clipboard and I need help. I’m a brand new coach (after some assistant coaching) on a U10 basketball team — it’s a competitive league, so parents are paying good money to keep their kids involved. We’ve only played two games, and in the second game I simply made a bad move: without getting into the specifics, I sat a player who was doing well in one aspect of the game order to focus on another aspect of the game — it ended up being poor judgment on my part and we lost a close game in overtime.
Within minutes I received indirect complaints from folks who heard “someone else” get upset about what I had done. On one hand, I feel I should take responsibility and admit that I could have handled the situation differently. On the other hand, nobody has spoken with me directly, and I’m worried that if I offer some sort of general apology then any number of parents will get “in my ear”. Any ideas on how should I handle this?
August 5, 2009 at 9:15 pm
So here’s my problem. Thanks for the place to air it out.
My son has played football a few years now and has earned (or at least it seemed) the running back spot and middle line backer spot. They won the championships the last 2 years.
Now this year we have 4 new coaches along with the same head coach. Three of all of them have kids that play. My son ran for over 100 yards per game last year, and didn’t miss probably 4 or 5 plays the whole game.
This year all of a sudden one of the new coaches kids(never played) is now the starting RB and MLB?? The pads haven’t even went on yet. The kid is fast but honestly he is pretty thin and most likely won’t be able to handle the hits. Now my kid has just been told he will be fighting it out with another kid for the 4 back spot…. (Again the kid is a coaches kid and hasn’t suited up). He is also told he is fighting it out for the OLB spot..
What the heck??? He hasn’t missed a beat and has been training all summer and is stronger and faster than ever.
I am not sure of how to handle this, but what I have done is told my son to fight for it all the way and when the pads go on and the hitting starts things will most likely change.
The HC was even bragging to all the other coaches about all the yards after contact, and overall yardage.
I am not sure what I think about this. Too many coaches kids on this team is what I see but…..
August 7, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I have coached my son for the last 4 years and he is an above average athlete. Last year he scored multiple touchdowns every game. No parents had a problem with it, other kids carried the ball with limited success but we won and had alot of fun. This year he moved up to the next league and it seems like his coach this year is pushing him to the side. The same kids that were not productive last year and did not do nearly as well are getting most of the reps during practice. We just finished the first week of practice in helmets so we had no contact and it seems he already knows who is starting. I watched their games last year and none of the skill position players are returning, they also moved up. I am an assistant coach this year for my sons team and do not know what to say or do. I know I sound like every other parent now but this is not right. My son went to a professional football players camp and out of 27 kids in his age group he recieved the most outstanding running back for the week. I live in a small town and have a hard time believing that in helmets with no contact that this one coach can tell that 5 or 6 kids from this same small town has more ability than my son. What should I say or do if anything at all?
By the way some of the parents that were on my team from last year are wondering the same thing.
September 14, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Hey listen. This is youth football. The whole idea behind youth football is to help develop skills and instill a love for the game. This isn’t about W’s and L’s at the end of the year, because it’s not about me as a coach. I measure my success by how many so called “MPP’s” we can develop into reasonably skilled players by the end of the season.
On my team the MPP’s get a lot of reps in practice because we’re trying to help them become better athletes and contribute more to the team. We even use our more experienced and skilled players to help the MPP’s with their fundamentals and mentor them in their skills. This promotes and instills leadership in them, which they’ll take on to their teams as they go on to play more competitive ball.
It drives me crazy when I see coaches playing their star kids on both sides of the ball and having the same kids on the sidelines for nearly the entire game. How do you ever expect these kids to improve if you never give them the experience of playing? It won’t hurt the starter thats playing both sides of the ball to give up some reps to the kids that need the experience. All you’re doing by benching your MPP’s teaching them that because they haven’t developed the skills yet that they are worthless to the team and that they won’t ever have the chance to develop their skills to become better players. Guess what, most of those kids will be turned off of the game because of that, and there’s nobody to blame but the coaches that insist on putting winning before player development in YOUTH FOOTBALL!
Work with those kids. Let them play. I’m not saying that you should simply throw them into situations to the detriment of the team, but there are ALWAYS situations you can put them in where they can feel like they’re contributing to more than holding the bench down. Make them work hard and teach them to be competitive. Maybe they’ll develop into starters and go play competitive ball, maybe they won’t, but at least you’ll have had a positive impact on that kids view of the game.
I want to win as much as the next coach (and I do win frequently), but I couldn’t live with myself for turning a 9 or 10 year old kid off of football. It’s a shame that so many youth coaches do. Frankly if you have MPP’s on your team, I view it as a coaching failure that you should either learn to deal with, or go coach college or pro teams.
September 2, 2009 at 9:42 pm
OOH-RAH
September 2, 2009 at 11:36 pm
jj’s post above is excellent. Coach Parker, you’re way off base here. If your kids are playing in a league with minimum play, go read the league’s objectives. I GUARANTEE you they include the word DEVELOPMENT. If you don’t want to deal with MPP’s because they are taking time away from the stars (LOL), go to a Select or Division 1 league. I’ve seen it time and time again – the all star parents and daddy-ball coaches play their kids in Division II to they can be the stars, then they criticize the parents of MPPs because they just want some playing time. These “stars” have stolen the developmental leagues, and coaches like Parker are trying to justify it. Gimme a break.
September 3, 2009 at 10:58 am
We have a recreational Division and its Division 3. All of our divisions have MPP rules, we do not have Select try-out divisions in our league. Many parents do not want thier child playing in Division 3 because it is considered a recreational league.
I always appreciative posts from free email accounts posting to the blog and attacking someone they do not know. Thanks again for your post GADawg.
October 12, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Wow!!!
Almost all rec leagues have rules around minimum plays, but they also have rules around practice time also. I wonder how many of the complaining parents actually spend any time trying to further their kids knowledge or skill outside of football practice. Not all leagues offer select or elite programs so that is a moot point. Just like adults aren’t built the same neither are our kids. It is the parents responsibility to work with your kid to get them to a level of competiveness. I didn’t say star because these are far and few between. All to often parents use rec sports as a 2 hour babsitter program and then want to complain about the play time. Work with your child and help them develop and stop complaining. Of course there are exceptions to every rule but I like to think humanity wins in the end. Either pick up a whistle an offer to help, because none of these coaches are paid or sit in your lawn chair and play cheer leader.
October 12, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Well said Coach Paul. Thanks for the post.
November 3, 2009 at 3:06 pm
My daughter played select soccer for the first time this year. I have coached her in SAY league for the past 3 years, and I can say, I did not always start her on the front lines. If she played really hard during the game, I would move her up, but she had to earn it. However, the new Select Soccer Coach, plays his daughter on the front line every-single-game! She is not that great, has only scored once on a fluke, and kicks the ball to the other team more than their own defense. Although my daughter is only 11, she even asks me why this girl plays on front if she is so bad? I don’t know what to tell her, other than not all things in life are equal or fair.
Needless to say, we will not be playing select with this team next year. We will go back to SAY where there are more opportunities for development, camaraderie, and real team-work.
Coaches, if you are going to coach your children, please realize you are an example to all the children out there, not just your own.
November 14, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I learned this year that different coaches see different skillsets in players. This year was the first year in a very long time that I was not the head coach. (We moved to Keller Texas just outside of Ft Worth this year) Positions that I would have put players in, the Head Coach of our Keller team did not see. This is not a slam against the head coach, but I did learn that based on our playing and coaching experience we want different attributes at certain positions from our players.
Also, there are coaches that will play their children no matter what. That’s not right, but it happens. Welcome to the world, its not fair. If you are a parent, you must do your homework on the league and the coach.
Thanks
Coach Parker
Keller Texas
August 17, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Sports and football in particular are valuable to show how things work in life. Challenges and competition are a good thing. Those of you complaining that your skilled kids have to compete over again for their positions are missing the opportunity to let their kids know how important it is to show your talent and work ethic every day of every year. Those of you with kids that don’t play much have to realize that your children have to prove themselves. These opportunites come easily during practices of all sports. All kids who get a lot of playing time, pay close attention to how the game is played and give a maximum effort to help the team be successful. Are your kids showing the kind of concentration and committment that is necessary for the coaches to notice? Honestly, my own son doesn’t always have his head on straight in these areas, so I’m sure many players aren’t doing enough to impress a lot of coaches. We’ve all got to remember that coaching at the instructional and recreational level is volunteer and is by its nature political. Coaches can’t be expected to have the same faith in kids they don’t know as they do their own sons and daughters and players they are familiar with. In addition, it’s reasonable to expect a coach’s child to receive a little playing time reward for the work that a coaching family is required to perform during the season. Finally, keep in mind and educate your children that they will have good leaders and bad leaders in their lifetime. Some leaders will be fine for a while and then lose their edge. We should expect that each season will be different. Whether it’s a coach or a supervisor, they will need to learn how to perform their best in a bad situation. This is probably the best reason we have our kids in youth sports to begin with. All of these complaints can be turned in to opportunities to teach our kids about real world challenges. Good Luck!